


What's With The Bagel?

by YouCanJive



Series: Time is the Longest Distance (Between Two Places) [8]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Gen, Late Night Conversations, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-29 14:12:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19401958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouCanJive/pseuds/YouCanJive
Summary: The Kid [11:07pm]: So, I’ve been meaning to ask…The Kid [11:07pm]: what kind of an expression is even “Holy crap on a bagel”??????The Kid [11:08pm]: Because even I think that’s weird andThe Kid [11:08pm]: A) I take pride in being quite weird myself andThe Kid [11:08pm]: B) I literally grew up with it written on my body and I /still/ think it’s weirdThe Kid [11:08pm]: so likeThe Kid [11:09pm]: what the heck man?





	What's With The Bagel?

**The Kid [11:07pm]:** So, I’ve been meaning to ask…

 **The Kid [11:07pm]:** what kind of an expression is even “Holy crap on a bagel”??????

 **The Kid [11:08pm]:** Because even I think that’s weird and

 **The Kid [11:08pm]:** A) I take pride in being quite weird myself and

 **The Kid [11:08pm]:** B) I literally grew up with it written on my body and I /still/ think it’s weird

 **The Kid [11:08pm]:** so like

 **The Kid [11:09pm]:** what the heck man?

**T.S. [11:14pm]:** Christ, kid, isn’t it 2am in Virginia?

**The Kid [11:19pm]:** Please, like you’re a saintly image of proper sleep patterns

 **The Kid [11:20pm]:** I can do what I want

 **The Kid [11:20pm]:** I’m a grown up

 **The Kid [11:20pm]:** and like

 **The Kid [11:20pm]:** I’m in college

 **The Kid [11:21pm]:** I’m supposed to stay up all night

 **The Kid [11:21pm]:** #bestyearsofmylife

**T.S. [11:25pm]:** Yes, you’re really sounding grown-up now.

 **T.S. [11:27pm]:** And I really don’t think I’m the model to follow here. But don’t tell Rhodey I said that.

**The Kid [11:31pm]:** I’m totally telling him

 **The Kid [11:31pm]:** but you haven’t answered my question

 **The Kid [11:32pm]:** What’s with the bagel?

**T.S. [11:36pm]:** I don’t know, kid! I’m a New Yorker.

 **T.S. [11:36pm]:** I guess I heard that whole “holy crap on a cracker” shit at some point and just adapted it. It’s just something I say.

**The Kid [11:37pm]:** Do other people say it?

 **The Kid [11:37pm]:** I’ve never heard it at CU. And there’s a buncha new yorkers here

 **The Kid [11:38pm]:** Is it an old person thing?

**T.S. [11:39pm]:** I’m not old.

 **T.S. [11:39pm]:** And no. It’s just a thing I say, I think.

**The Kid [11:40pm]:** so you’ve never heard anybody else say it?

 **The Kid [11:40pm]:** none of your friends have picked it up??

**The Kid [11:47pm]:** hello????

**T.S. [11:57pm]:** Did somebody else say it to you?

**The Kid [11:59pm]:** What? Christ, no, Tony.

 **The Kid [11:59pm]:** You know I would tell you.

 **The Kid [11:59pm]:** plus

 **The Kid [11:59pm]:** you know you’re my Ride or Die

 **The Kid [00:01am]:** I just…

 **The Kid [00:01am]:** I almost said it the other day

 **The Kid [00:01am]:** but then I worried maybe other people would start saying it, too

 **The Kid [00:02am]:** I like that it’s your thing

 **The Kid [00:02am]:** and thought maybe it could be my thing, too

 **The Kid [00:02am]:** since it’s written on me and all

 **The Kid [00:03am]:** but I don’t want to say it around other people

 **The Kid [00:03am]:** and have them all start saying it all of a sudden

 **The Kid [00:04am]:** so I was just wondering if other people picked it up from you

 **The Kid [00:04am]:** or if it was weird enough it was safe to use without worrying about theft

**The Kid [00:09am]:** is that weird?

 **The Kid [00:09am]:** it’s weird

 **The Kid [00:10am]:** I’m being weird

 **The Kid [00:10am]:** I’m sorry did I mention its 3am???

 **The Kid [00:11am]:** and I’m maybe a little bit high?

 **The Kid [00:12am]:** just ignore me

**T.S. [00:13am]:** I’m trying to, but you won’t stop texting me. I knew that unlimited texting plan was a mistake. I didn’t realize I was going to become your BFF Jill.

**The Kid [00:14am]:** OMG shut up

**T.S. [00:15am]:** But for real, kid. Say it, don’t say it. They’re your words. Think of them as a gift.

 **T.S. [00:16am]:** (Do you even have bagels in Idaho? Did you know what a bagel was when you were growing up or were you just so confused?)

**The Kid [00:18am]:** We have bagels, thanks

 **The Kid [00:18am]:** They’re fucking terrible though

**The Kid [00:22am]:** maybe I’ll just say it when it’s just us

 **The Kid [00:23am]:** if that’s cool

**The Kid [00:27am]:** I don’t want to hear anybody else say it.

**T.S. [00:29am]:** Go to sleep, kid.

 **T.S. [00:29am]:** Don’t let the bedbugs bite.

 **T.S. [00:31am]:** You can hide under my bed.

**The Kid [00:32am]:** holy crap on a bagel 

**The Kid [00:33am]:** i was such a weirdo 

**Author's Note:**

> In my mind, this takes place sometime in the fall of 2007.  
> Darcy's a freshman at Culver & Tony has over a year before Afghanistan.  
> Clearly, they've come a long way since 2004.


End file.
